


I hope you’re ready for a story about death

by Daydreaminganewworld



Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: ALMOST FORGOT THAT WHOOPS, Alternate Origin Story, Gen, I mean its beetlejuice so, Mild Blood, Mild Gore, Mild Language, Suicide, legit starts with suicide so read safely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22551199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daydreaminganewworld/pseuds/Daydreaminganewworld
Summary: Juno Shoggoth was not always Juno Shoggoth. She was not always the Director of the Netherworlds Customs and Processing. She was not always a demon. Once she was a person that had recently died, and met a very strange and unusual individual.
Relationships: Juno & Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	I hope you’re ready for a story about death

Once, in a time long before cable tv was even a pipe dream much less when it was considered to be on its deathbed, there was a city where all thought it would reign endlessly. In that city there was a woman, long tormented by those above her. She felt powerless, that her fate was never in her own hands. She chased off all men that tried to marry her and control her even further, cut herself off from others that tried to subdue her. She was jeered at and made a pariah. She despised it all. She cursed the gods for bringing her to a world where she held no autonomy, she pleaded for something to change, something to give. It seemed that she would receive no aid though.

One night, she felt it was all too much. Drunk on gluttonous amounts of wine, she decided there was no hope for her. She took a knife, and one last time, despaired. “If I hold no freedom in life, then I shall seek it in the underworld, gods be damned!” And sliced her throat open. Her blood soaked the ground. 

When she awoke again, she found herself not in what is described as the underworld. Instead, it was an endless void, with few shadowy wisps wandering the inky, black scape. 

There the woman wandered, her wound on her throat constantly aching, forever reminding her of her deeds, though most everything else of her life was long forgotten in the void. Far did she walk, for there was no time to keep, no exhaustion or desire to hold her back, as she searched for anything. It was not until the darkness became a misty white did she take pause, wondering if any of this was worthwhile. 

Then, she heard a noise. A groan, the shuffle of something large moving, and she felt that something with an endless gaze was watching her. 

“Hey, that something has a name thanks! Also, you make me sound creepy, I’m just looking at the lady that’s wandered onto my turf, narrator!” 

The woman startled, it had been so long since she’d heard another speak in a tongue she understood. 

“Why so serious, eh? I thought this was supposed to be a funny story! Like, I know this story has a suicide in it and stuff, but man is this a downer. Ever heard of dark comedy?” 

“Who’s there?” The woman asked, her voice a croak from long disuse, the air hissing out of her throat. 

“What, you can’t see me yet? Are you blind or something? Oh crap, wait are you blind? This will be awkward if you’re actually blind, shit,” the voice responded. 

The woman squinted her eyes, seeing a towering mass in the mist, just out of sight, sending a chill of terror down her spine. “Are you a god? A beast? Here to finish me off finally?” The woman tried to hide her fear, standing behind a mask of pride. 

“Ha, God! That’s a good one. Beast is probably closer. Here, lemme just, _don’t wanna scare this one off_ …” 

The mass twisted and the sound of bones cracking and bloody flesh squelching filled the air. The woman tripped backwards hastily, watching as the creature moved inhumanly. Finally, a man stepped forward, a man much bigger than her, both physically and seeming mentally, wearing clothes the woman had never seen before, strangely tailored to his body in a way she had couldn’t quite comprehend. His hair flared out wildly, seeming to be a sort of black with green tint that seemed to be… moving. His eyes were the most startling of all, a bright luminescent green that seemed to pierce into the woman’s very soul. 

“How do ya do? Been a while since one of you newly dead’s wandered all the way out here. Usually it’s just me and my two buds,” the man grinned, revealing sharp teeth that belonged more to a predator than a man. 

The woman swallowed thickly. “Buds?” She asked, trying to keep her body from shaking. 

“Yeah, Tunk and Harley. They’re a riot,” the man said, jutting a thumb to two boulders that seemed to suddenly appear from the mist. 

The woman blinked, taken aback by this man, thing, creature’s attitude. 

“Speaking of, what about you? What’s yer handle?” The man was suddenly at the woman’s side, eyes darting over her in a quick one over. The woman startled away, gasping. His skin was almost translucent, and he reeked of sulfur. 

She took a deep breath, composing herself, before the question hit her. Who was she? She almost crumbled to her feet upon realizing that she had no answer. 

“Ah, jeez, they sent another fainter. Here, sit on Harley, she doesn’t mind the weight,” the man helped the unnamed woman onto the bigger of the two boulders. 

The man plopped onto the other one in a most undignified state, picking at his sharp teeth with fingers that, upon a second look, were not human hands. It was as if his fingertips were frostbitten, but rather than fall off, they grew claws that belonged to a bear. 

“What is this place?” The woman finally asked, desperate for some sort of answer to all this madness she’d been subjected to. 

“Ah, there’s that thousand dollar question. You, my friend, are the lucky new inhabitant of the netherworld! Applause may be had now,” an uproarious applause filled the air, as streamers and balloons manifested as well, though how the unnamed woman knew what these things are was uncertain. The man crossed his legs, twice. With a third leg. 

“Now, you may be wondering, Netherworld? But I thought the afterlife was ‘insert belief here’, and I’m here to tell you everything you knew was wrong! There’s no god, no cycle, no anything! It’s all one big ol’ void! Welcome, to the rest of your afterlife! Drifting around nowhere forever, until you finally dissolve into that nothing. Exciting isn’t it?” The man continued. 

The woman’s head spun. Nothing? No gods? No underworld? No judgement? Only a void? It sounded so… chaotic. “But, but how could there be nothing? How could there be no gods? We-we came from something how could we dissolve into nothing?” She asked. 

The man shrugged, still seeming quite chipper about the whole thing. “Don’t ask me. I just live here.” 

“But, but… what about you? Aren’t you going to fade away as well?” The woman asked, desperate. 

“Oh I can’t. I’m technically not dead! No I’m a shoggoth, and we just… Live here. Rents cheap, restaurants are alright, and just lookit all this space! Can’t complain, I guess.”

“But, but, how can you live? Why must I die? What is the difference between you and I? Dammit! Dammit all, it’s just as unfair in death as it is life! Damn everything, damn it all to oblivion with me!” The woman stood, rage filling her empty veins. All of the suffering, it was never ending. She would never find peace. 

The man, the shoggoth, watched the woman with interested eyes. A plan was forming in his mind, a plan he’d long since been thinking. “It is unfair, isn’t it? Man everyone hates it! No point to doing anything, it’s all for naught. We’re all gonna waste away. Well, you are. I won’t. I’ll just be stuck here in the boring old Netherworld. Forever. Chatting with rocks and making mist puppets.” He demonstrated this skill with a beautiful puppet recreation of Shakespeare’s Macbeth. 

The woman paused in her ranting, looking over to him. “There must be a way, there must be a way to change this.” 

Hiding a smirk, the shoggoth stood. “Well… there could be. Might be. Possibly be. It all depends, I guess.”

“Enough of your riddles. What is it you have schemed, I can see for myself you know a way.” 

The shoggoth blinked, caught off guard by the woman’s rushing through his theatrics. He quickly shook himself back to his plan. 

“Alright, smart woman I see. So, I’m a shoggoth. A powerful, unstoppable beast. I can crush cities, move mountains, do whatever I want. But I’m trapped here. No shoggoth can leave the netherworld. And newly deads? They’re powerless wimpy lil things, but. If they were to have the power of a shoggoth, well, I always thought you lil air suckers are pretty unstoppable. No way could the netherworld hold you back if you had the right tools to get outta here. So! I think, maybe we should form a deal!” He held his hand out to the woman, trying to smile charmingly, emphasis on trying. 

The woman stared at him flatly, unsure. “A… deal…” she said. 

“Yes’m, a deal! Just one little itty bitty deal that combines my powers with your soul, giving you the power to do as you please, and giving me the ability to finally go where I please. All we have to do is share a name, giving us a connection.” 

He could see that she was hesitant. It was time to put on the charm. Humans like nicknames, right? 

Power filled the air. The woman, now Juno, felt her body tear itself apart molecule by molecule, and repiece itself back together. She wasn’t sure if she screamed or if it was the sound of the world around them bending to the shoggoth’s will. 

After what felt like eternity, Juno opened her eyes. Abdul looked back worriedly. Upon seeing her moving, he breathed a breath of relief. “Oh good! I thought you were like, dead squared.” 

“What… is this…?” Juno brought her hand to her face. Already her thoughts were filled to the brim, she knew the ins and outs of the netherworld, how to manipulate it, to control it. Energy hummed under her skin, the sensation of her slashed throat long in the past. Slowly, she moved her hand, the mist formed into a ball before her. Slowly, a smile filled her face. 

“This is having control over your own soul. Looks like we’re not powerless anymore!” Abdul grinned, reaching a hand down. Juno took it and he helped her stand up, and she slowly moved forward, marveling at the way everything looked now. She understood what it all was, what Abdul was, what she was. 

“So, partner! Ready to take the world by storm?” Abdul asked. Juno turned back to him, and for a single second Abdul felt a flicker of hesitance. Something was different. For one moment, Abdul saw something in Juno’s now red eyes, and for the first time ever he felt a shadow of fear. 

But then Juno smiled coolly, looking normal once more. “A demon and a shoggoth together are unstoppable. It is time to bring order to the netherworld. A system. We cannot have souls wandering around so freely. What if they found shoggoths as well? We can’t have everyone have this power, lest one starts to take it away from others for themselves. Come, Abdul. Let’s get to work.” 

Abdul watched as she started off, back to where the souls came into netherworld. “Hey, narrator… is this really a happy ending? I’m not so sure. I mean, Juno seems nice and all. Just, is this really what she should have?” he muttered. 

~~**_I cannot answer._ ** ~~

Abdul sighed, unhappy at the lack of response, and started after Juno. “Probably just overthinking. I always overthink, y’know? Who cares. Soon I’ll be able to see earth. I’ll be able to see what the humans like about life so much. Hell yeah. Yeah! Wait up Juno!” He hurried after her, leaving Tunk and Harley in the mist.

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this before on tumblr but now that I have this account I may as well put it here too. Just my idea of Juno’s beginning and an idea of who Beetlejuice’s dad could be. Aren’t we all coming up with our own dads for that guy?   
> Does this suck? Maybe. Do I care? Nah. Come yell at me on my tumblr @daydreaming-jessi I guess, lol


End file.
